Utterly Bummed Out

BY SOPHIE CHUNG

Wow, this one's a bit depressing as I'm mostly just wallowing in my own self pity.

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18 DEC - 2016

It's my own experience so I'm the only one who can be truly empathetic to myself - but it's still quite funny.

I'm sure you'll feel better about your life after reading this excerpt! Just one thing to note; never was I ever ashamed, per se, about the fact that I bartended at a strip club. To this day, I still tell people about it because it's a real point of difference and I'd like to think it shows that I'm not too concerned with elevating my image to a point where it's just pure falsification. On this particular night, I wouldn't say I felt "embarrassed" or "ashamed" as it was just me in survivalist mode trying to pay the bills. But what I can say is that I felt very disappointed in how I did everything relatively 'right' with the step-by-step process of acquiring an education, etc., only to end up at the bottom of the food chain serving alcoholic drinks to seedy men because sometimes the world just puts you in shit street without a paddle. That's all.

Excerpt from August 8th, 2015:

"CURRENTLY sniffling and eating Lindt chocolate wondering about the most stupid things. Woke up this morning feeling like I got punched and kicked by a midget fighter. My entire body was sore from last night’s 11 hour shift at the wonderful establishment that I work at. How odd it is to think that the statement of “I started work at 5pm and finished at 4am” is a regular pattern in my life. Did you gasp at the inhumane and horrendous hours I work? I do too sometimes.

*It's definitely important to function as a person who abides by the natural circadian rhythm. It's super depressing to never see the sun and only be under the moonlight.

Today was an above average Sunday in the life of Chung. I picked up Adam Lambert concert tickets that I WON. Yes! I did! Something great happened to ME! You may laugh now but there will be so much glitter AND he has the vocal chords that vibrate spastically well enough to replace Freddy Mercury in the latest Queen tours. I also went to the supermarket and bought chocolate milk, orange juice and pork slices.* My diet is going great, I'm going to look like Gigi Hadid by drinking calorific sweetened udder's milk and fatty AF pork.
*I love that the items I purchased at the grocery store made it into my journal entries…

It was an above average Sunday only to throw a tantrum at my poor neighbour Aimee for not cooking the kumara right. In my defence, she's really impatient and took the kumara out when it was still raw. Roast kumara slices are meant to be 7mm thick. have a golden and crunchy outer casing with a super fluffy inner where the steam dances out like the image of pandora's box when you break it in half. But no, it was just this half-cooked, chewy, MESS. One should not consume such atrocious, flimsy bits of root vegetable. It's a waste of Mother Earth's beautiful and arguably, best, creation.

Anyway, I'm overtired and I have insomnia - it sucks big hairy balls - your day is ruined, you can’t function and you’re numb and emotional at the same time.

Last night, I wept during my break at work because 5 of my university tutors came into the stripclub for a bachelor party. Funny that I caught them out (they looked very ashamed to be seen in a strip club but then they realised that I was working there and I guess they didn't feel so humiliated...) but then I became very sad because of the unanimous, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???” I followed that up with a very down-buzz “I can’t get a job in the architecture industry...” Jesus, what a bummer.

Anyway, that’s why I'm allowed to throw tantrums and cry and be annoying because all I expected was a day job as an architectural graduate. Also, today I was so stressed out about whether I should swap out my black lens MiuMius for reflective ones. In the end I came to the conclusion that my initial decision to go with the regular black lenses was the correct decision."

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