They Say ‘C’est La Vie’
BY SOPHIE CHUNG
I skyped one of my oldest friends this morning. She graduated from law school, moved to London at the worst time for finding employment and is now working in a café.
16 DEC - 2016
The most intelligent people will be cursed while others don’t even realise how blessed they are to transition smoothly from student into employee.
But unfortunately, that’s just how the cookie crumbles… and for me, my cookie escaped from my hand and broke into pieces on the floor and even then, those pieces tried to limp away from me – envision a scene from Sausage Party.
Anyway, while on the phone, I realised that it was completely normal for us young’uns to go through this incredibly difficult stage where we feel like we’re wasting our lives working in hospitality simply because the world can’t offer the things that we invested years in… not to mention racking up over 50k in student loans because our degrees aren’t a mere 3 years… it’s 5 or 6 or 7! Add a PhD and you’re most likely owning the exact same capsule wardrobe you first acquired when your growth spurt ended.
As for me, I busted my ass in high school to get into architecture school and somehow got through 5 years of it to end up with a qualification shoved in a box somewhere in storage and never even touched the topic in the real world. I tried – I really f**king did. But I was sooooo sick of sadists just yanking out my life support to see me suffocate for fun.
Excerpt from 28th July 2015:
“CURRENTLY: listening to Michelle Branch and wondering why the F**K have I not got a job when I have a MASTERS degree in Architecture. WHO IS RESPONSIBLE. GOD AND BUDDHA I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DOPE. Obviously, I am on the verge of tears… highly sleep deprived and my mind crumbs are just flying like shit hit the fan in a zero gravity spaceship.
1 minute ago, I had to moisturize my ass cheeks with Shea Butter. WHY?! Because I have a bumpy itchy rash from sitting on the stool at work. An 8 hour shift of simply sitting on a stool as a “receptionist” of the supposedly “best stripclub” in town… on a Monday night until 3am. THIS IS MY LIFE. But at least I don’t have a yeast infection from the pole like a certain friend. Her vagina smells like “a chinese fish market” which won't get a visit from her boyfriend “unless he’s craving sushi”. I love how crass her 'potty mouth' is … it’s more like a highly descriptive, graphic and eloquently obscene mouth. Did you know that smart strippers can be incredibly beneficial for your ‘street’ education? They’re exceptionally articulate and pretty fucking good company if they can stomach spicy Korean food. She’s a keeper guys.
Why am I so angry and emotional about my current situation?
I scored a two week trial/internship at an architectural practice in this tiny city and was promised (implied… I guess) a full time job at the end of it only to be completely disheartened by this absolutely irritating email saying that circumstances have changed and that they now require a more EXPERIENCED person but he is happy to have me intern for my experience. Ummmmmm GET F**KED YOU BIG DICKSWINGER! “FOR” my experience he says… just another exploitive company that will bleed me dry with exhaustion without giving a dime for my time and labour. It is SO wrong to treat graduates like they don’t deserve the right to be respected. We’re taken for advantage and somehow these employers feel free to toss us away like a bag of dog shit once they’ve sufficiently milked us as free resources.
*In retrospect, I'm really glad he didn't give me a job. Because it would've sucked to work as a CAD monkey drawing lines all day. My sanity would've been split in half like the sausage in the feature image.
The Ex-flatmate and the Case of the Adjustable Oven Rack
Ten Kilometres of Regret by A Pisswreck
Bit of a Flop