A Case for Long Distance Relationships
BY MILLIE BROWN
There’s a reason they say absence makes the heart grow fonder!

30 JAN - 2025
Maybe they should change it to absence makes the heart grow hobbies.
Radio silence was the response I got when I asked my Dutch boyfriend what he thinks the best part of long distance was. “Well, I mean nothing is really good about it”, was the final answer I got after pushing him for a few minutes.
I can’t say I disagree. But is long distance really that bad?
For the past 2 years I have had basically only long distance relationships. Long distance friendships, long distance situationships, long distance family, and of course, an actual long distance relationship. And I gotta say, I feel as though I’m a pro at this by now.
Scheduling FaceTimes, remembering when the clocks change (and with it your time zones), trying to keep up with all the new characters, boys and work drama that happen in between each call, awkwardly meeting their new friends through bad wifi and laggy FaceTimes. These are all things I’ve now got a degree in and if I’m being honest, it’s not bad at all.

Maybe I’m biased - I met two of the closest people in my life while I was overseas and talking through a screen is far better than not talking at all - and besides not having people to go out clubbing with, there’s nothing I feel as though I’m missing out on. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about social media it’s that sitting around waiting for a text sucks whether that person is 5 minutes away or 25 hours away - so why does long distance get such a bad rap?
Before I embarked on my long distance relationship most people outside of my closest friends said something along the lines of “good luck!”, “he’s going to cheat on you”, “long distance never works”, and “I would never do something like that.” All really positive, reassuring stuff. I used to get so annoyed when people would speak about my situation like this to me; I can’t imagine sitting across from someone talking about how happy they are in their new relationship and then begin to say “it’s long distance - he will cheat on you”. I understand people wanting to, quote unquote, look out for me but if I want to learn the hard way, I will!
I’ve picked up running, sourdough bread making, cooking, patch working clothes, watercolour, reading and writing. Behold, the gift of time.
My boyfriend and I met while I was on my year abroad in The Netherlands, from the second we met we were inseparable. The looming reality that my visa was ending in 6 months was not on either of our minds.
We spent the end of my visa getting to know each other better; we took a road trip to Italy, moved in together and spent a good 3 months only taking bathroom breaks from one another (although… not even all of those were done alone).
So the jump into hourly less-than-once-a-day FaceTimes was a big one. It took us about a month, but we settled into our new routine. Now, four months deep, we call almost every Dutch night and every Australian morning. I would be lying if I said it is easy. For the
first 6 weeks I was in Melbourne I couldn’t sleep and was holding onto our calls far too tightly, if we missed even one call I felt horrible. Which is stupid and the exact thing you want to avoid in relationships - codependency.
Due to the nature of his study, we have had 3 weeks where we haven’t been able to speak at all. No calls. No texts. Nothing. So it didn’t take long to muscle up and get over the lack of closeness. And even then, it probably could’ve been worse. I have hobbies, I have
his Netflix password, I have a job, if anything, long distance has given me the gift of time.

You know when you or one of your best friends gets into a long term relationship and you kind of become lazy, unsociable and boring? You only spend your time with your partner and eventually you fight with your friends because you’re always with your boyfriend? Long distance takes that away. I mean sure, I haven’t been out to a bar once since moving away and sure, the people I spend the most time with are my married-with-children colleagues but I’ve never had so many hobbies in my life. I’ve picked up running, sourdough bread making, cooking, patch working clothes, watercolour, reading and writing. Behold, the gift of time.
It’s spectacular. But that’s pretty much where the spectacular-ness of long distance ends.
When we’re reunited I’m reminded how much extra little stuff you do when you’re with your best mate. I’m not acting like I’m hauled up inside everyday he’s not here but I’m much more likely to do the hour long train journey into the city centre when I’m with a friend vs on my own. $400 steak dinners are much more justified when two of you are ‘celebrating life’ not just one. You will always decide to keep exploring even though your feet hurt when you’re with someone else. And so on and so forth. Both of us will admit we forgot how much we LOVE doing things together.
It’s pretty unique to be building a life with someone on the other side of the world, but we’re equally as lucky that we can so easily book flights and meet up in various countries around the world. I would have to say that makes our relationship a little more fun and exciting than if we had grown up in the same town. I think it’s high time we stop acting like it’s impossible to be committed while in different timezones, especially with such immediate access to each other through the internet. I don’t see him everyday and still our connection has only grown stronger with the time apart.
But if I had to put a statistic to it, the positive to negative ratio for long distance is about 1 to 258658. Ok maybe that is dramatic but you get the idea. Being away from someone you love is never going to be good but it’s worth it. (Don’t you hate when people say that?). That feeling when you’re reunited is worth all of it.
Life is far better with my long distance relationships in it.
RELATED STORIES

GIVEAWAY

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to Chatty Chum's mailing list to receive the latest in beauty and lifestyle news, giveaways and the launch of our Editor's Collection boxes.