One of Bumble’s other dating predictions is Guardrailing which means the protection of priorities and boundaries. In a post-pandemic era, people have dug deep into their lives and really figured out what they want to prioritise. That, combined with more people returning to their regular routines of being in the office and having loaded up social calendars, people generally feel overwhelmed. Bumble’s research has shown us that 52% of users feel like they have established more boundaries over the last year and are actively seeking to prioritise it. 63% of users felt the need to be clearer about the emotional needs and boundaries, 59% of users wanting to be more intentional about how they put themselves out there, and 53% not overcommitting socially.

I love that Lucille McCart, APAC Communications Director for Bumble, refers to this trend as ‘healthy selfishness’. “Guardrailing is about protecting your energy, not overcommitting, and being clear about your emotional needs.” McCart explains.

“On a similar note, we have also identified the “love-life balance” trend, where people don’t just want work-life balance for themselves but for their partner too. I like this trend because it is reflective of people being considerate of not just their schedule but their partners too, with an emphasis on availability, showing up, and making space for quality time.” says McCart.

I ended a long term relationship during the pandemic, and came onto the dating scene with a view to having clear boundaries and being very intentional with how I put myself out there. My first few “situationships” were ones where I had very clearly outlined how I like to be treated. I like to be prioritised, taken out and treated out (I’m very much of the view that if you ask me out, we shouldn’t be splitting the bill…) but I wasn’t emotionally available for a full on relationship yet which meant in some aspects, I needed to hold back or withdraw.

Although setting such clear boundaries meant having hard conversations up front, I found that I was treated with respect and it was smooth sailing, and things would naturally dissolve at the appropriate time. I am currently very happily taken, with my last first date going extremely swimmingly! The princess treatment was absolutely on par, with him picking up what I was putting down and taking me to a fine dining restaurant. Safe to say, this has set the precedent for our relationship for weekly date nights, and we work hard to ensure that we both feel loved, respected and seen with our respective boundaries.

This directly flows on to the next trend which is Love-Life balance. There’s been a big shift away from thinking that job titles and demanding work are very important (at the detriment of your relationship). When it comes to their partner, approximately 54% of users cared more about their balance than career status with 13% definitively stating that they will not date someone who has a very demanding job.

So, what does this mean for a first date in 2023? I think it directly translates to up-front conversations before a date. People will be happier to set clear expectations before a first date (i.e., what kind of dates may not meet the mark) and not put up with things that don’t meet their standards.

This is a view shared by McCart who says, “Dating in 2023 is all about intention. Set an intention before you start swiping, and use this intention to guide what filters and settings you use, and the types of people you swipe on. Consider this intention when you are starting conversations, setting up dates, and getting to know people.”

“Honesty and authenticity are key themes of dating right now. Be honest (with yourself as much as others!) about what you want and build a profile that is authentic to you,” says McCart.

Personally, this looked like rejecting dates that seemed low effort as it didn’t make a great first impression. I think that people being more intentional with how they put themselves out there is great, because it really clears up the mind-games or miscommunications that come with new flings and relationships. On the dating apps, I’ve seen a lot more people have phrases such as “ethical non-monogamy” or “casual only” or “looking for something serious” set out as their dating goal. I see no downside to this, because having such conversations can really help make sure you’re on the same page and that you don’t get badly hurt in the end!