Bad & Boujee: The Slay Way to Empty Your Cortisol Cup
BY SOPHIE CHUNG
Press the reset button with one night.
15 MAY - 2024
Leave your baggage at home.
I love a staycation. Not to sound super boring and unadventurous, but these days, I actually prefer it to going overseas. How insufferable and bratty for me to say such a thing, right? After a 5-week tour around the globe, this time last year, I think it will take me a few years to forget the realities of traveling and book a long trip away from home like that again. Don’t get me wrong, it was an epic whirlwind of sunshine, cocktails and deliciousness but to bring the highs back down to equilibrium, there were canceled flights, a third degree burn in the knee-pit where a huge chunk of my leg looked like carpaccio, immune system burnouts and oh, so many putrid bandages. You’re probably thinking that my reasoning (complaints) are fair enough now. Ha!
If you’re deep in the flow of modern culture, you’ve probably caught onto the fact that being ‘effortless’ is everything you want to be. From the way you dress and make up to your overtly nonchalant demeanor, there’s something so inherently cool and chic about simply ‘being’ yourself without a care in the world. In a wee while, there’s a full mindcrumbs piece that will be unleashed into the world wide web by the talented Phoebe Watt.
I’m calling it now - booking a staycation is the most effortless way to ‘travel.’ F**k the farty cattle class flights, the 45 minute queues in near-40 degree heat and the lugging of your shitty suitcases over cobblestones until the wheels fall off. I sound like a right old bitter wench but I really don’t think my stamina was built for this level of exertion and effort.
The sense of ease that comes with just a night away from the ordinary has a way of renewing your energies and pressing the reset button without visiting admin city. It’s a much classier but equally effective way of emptying out your cortisol cup than scheduling in a tactical 10-minute wail to your old boss’ glowing reference letter to validate yourself. I’ve been in discussions with other dysfunctionally high-functioning women and it seems that crying in the car is the most time-efficient way for that huge monthly cathartic release. I can’t believe how utterly poorly designed we are as human beings that we have to deal with the nonsense of hormones. The sky is NOT falling down - you’re just about to get your period. That’s all.
QT Birds & Boujee Bubbles
Anyway, not too long ago, I got an email inviting me to stay at QT Auckland overnight and experience their Birds & Boujee Bubbles room service. I love my life and I love my job. No, but really, I stay at QT wherever possible when gallivanting around NZ or across the ditch so this was a yes before I even finished reading the email. The element of creativity mixed with its QT-ssential funky spunky ‘tude is what I adore about it - the fact that it’s a luxury destination without the hoity toitiness. And this new Birds & Boujee Bubbles in-room service is exactly that. Succulent fried chicken (one of the best things ever created IMO) on a bed of shoestring fries with pickles and a whole bottle of hot sauce (that you can take home after and put on your morning eggs) is delivered to your door with a bottle of Mumm. She’s humble with standards; never gloats, only floats; and she’s French-level effortless which is the maximum level of effortless that you can be.
I’ve had Uber Eats many times in hotels so I didn’t anticipate the kind of rush that fried chicken and bubbles in bed would give me but I was actually so high on life. You could have all the money in the world but at the end of it all, this is what it all comes down to - a hot soak, fresh sheets, slippers, a lush king bed, and lowbrow food and champagne delivered to your door. And because you’re 20 minutes away from home in your local city, you won’t even feel guilty that you haven’t left the room to play the part of a tourist. It’s just pure relaxation, baby.
Girl math your way to happiness.
Esther’s High Tea
Before we evolved into flushed potatoes, Sam and I headed down to Esther for their high tea by Sean Connelly. Different to the usual rack of dry cucumber sandwiches that I’m used to, this high tea drew inspo from the Med, serving anchovy and pickle skewers, fish sammies, devilled eggs and XL prawns in hot honey. We scoffed these tasty morsels into our greedy gobs - but obviously in the most chic way possible.
And of course, you would’ve seen the divine French dessert trolly on QT’s Instagram. To appease all of the sweet palates, the trolley was filled with sugary treats in different textures and consistencies. From the jaffa tiramisu (OMG obviously the best dessert option ever) to moist lemon delicious cakes, Portuguese tarts (didn’t you want to scoff them like Emma Stone did in Poor Things? Iconic - EFFORTLESS), swan-shaped pavlovas, strawberry sables, raspberry macarons and Turkish delights, we struggled to finish this part of the tea. However, we did drink most of the cocktails and bubbles on offer and let me just say, the tomato and basil highball as well as Esther’s martini, should be imbibed. The martini in particular, will help cut through the sweetness so you can live your ultimate hedonistic dreams.
Pooch Friendly
I didn’t know until it was too late but QT is also pet-friendly! Which is so progressive because DINKWADs are the future even if the pope thinks it’s selfish to replace kids with a pooch (just my two cents, but I don’t think cats count as they’re not dependent enough). So next time, just bring your ball and chain along for the boujee experience because pups deserve to be pampered too. I’m definitely going to inquire about bringing my party mix Bon Bon next time. See? Effortless!
Conclusive Thoughts
I know we’re going through a COL crisis and everything is so tightly wound up with this recession. Everyone’s suffering from it to a certain degree. I know I am. And I don’t know who’s going overseas this year with interest rates being this high and the NZ dollar being so incredibly beaten down to global submission - but if you need to take a vaycay to step out of the incoming seasonal depression for a hot minute, book a staycay at QT as the solulu to your delulu. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to going to Europe so it’s basically free, right? And it’s a much easier, effortless, admin-free and objectively an all-round better option. Girl math your way to happiness.
P.S: I was in room 418 (need to confirm) and it was the best room ever! It was open plan with the bath and so sexy. Highly recommend. 5 stars!
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