No Gloss Lip-balm Review: A Contactless Delivery To My Letterbox
BY BEN FITCHETT
A journey into my dramatic thoughts in attempts to find a no gloss lip balm that will satisfy my needs.
26 AUG - 2021
Whether it’s a terrible hangover, or just dehydration, this is where you’ll find a solution to moisten those lips.
I’m not even sure if this is relatable or not but I’ll say it anyway. Isn’t it funny how I write one article, being dramatic (as per) about having severely dry lips while on Oratane and the next minute, I'm chased to write a review on lip balm?
I’m seriously not a writer, and I don’t know if there is some sort of format or criteria to make people enjoy a review. Therefore, the next - give or take 5 minutes - you’ll be reading my exact mind about these lip balms that I came across in my letterbox.
If you read my previous article, then you would know I am an avid lip balm carrier. It’s my best friend and it saves my life on the daily. However, as I have come to realise, there are some lip balms that are not your best friend. I’ve always been a forgetful person, and this has forced me to buy lip balm at almost every petrol station - after forgetting them in the most whack of places.
Which has led me to this exact moment, where you’ll read my thoughts on the Hurraw! Tangerine Chamomile Lip Balm SPF 15, Aloe Up Sport Medicated Lip Balm SPF 30, and the ManukaRx New Zealand Natural Mānuka Lip Balm. If I can make this enjoyable, surely I can make anything enjoyable.
Hurraw! Sun Tangerine Chamomile Lip Balm
I’m formatting this article using the same habits I had as a child when eating dinner. You rank your options and get rid of the worst first. This lip balm tastes seriously like ass. Like, it’s so bad, I’m recommending it to all of my gay friends as you read this. Its flavour tastes so plain to the point where you’d think you’re using a wooden spoon to hydrate your lips.
I know this is dramatic because this is a review on how well lip balms hydrate your lips but who in their right mind made it taste like this? Is this what chamomile tastes like? If so, I will never purchase chamomile again. Whilst I haven’t tried any other flavours, orange, lemon or lime would be taking it out as the top pick in my books.
The lip balm itself is soothing and once you move past the taste of it, you’re on to a real winner. Although I do find the oval shape quite odd to try and use, it applies very well. My only downfall from this would be that it makes your lips go white if you apply too much.
Aloe Up Sport Medicated Lip Balm SPF 30
When I first got hold of these 3 lip balms, I tried this first and I, without a doubt, loved it to start off with. After using tubes of petroleum-like Chapstick, Vaseline and Nivea, this was like my saving grace - it rehydrated my lips, tasted very refreshing and I was totally convinced by the SPF 30 that was blasted over the entire packing.
I totally rate myself anytime I put SPF on my face, lips or body because it means I'm keeping my skin young and glowing. The way it applied was so smooth and within an hour or so, I can hands-down tell you, hangover or not, my lips were rehydrated. However, when I applied this, it smeared all over my lips and left quite a thick layer. Not the worst possible outcome but still bothered my princess self.
Sophie, in her anal ways, did point out that there was petrolatum in the latter half of the ingredients list. Unlike Hurraw!, this one is definitely not 100% natural.
ManukaRx New Zealand Natural Mānuka Lip Balm
First off, I'm so angry at how long that title is. When I just sat down to type this I felt exhausted just finishing that sentence. But this was like the Ariana Grande of lip balms in my eyes.
If we want to pull this race apart, it’s kind of like the athlete that used steroids and won the Olympic games. It’s not exactly a tube lip balm like the others but I don’t even care at this point. This stuff feels like liquid gold that if you smear it over dry, cracked, or any kind of lips - it will cure it.
The only pitfall I have with this is the texture - it’s very runny and has hard bits throughout it but I don’t want to dwell on this because it’s like my baby. When my lips are terribly dry, I always know this beautiful product can save me from my problems. It soothes them, it will rehydrate them, it will just fix all of your problems.
When applied it does kind of go everywhere but when you’re wasted at 4am trying to layer on anything to make sure you don’t wake up with lips split like the red sea, you honestly don’t care. I would 10/10 recommend this product if you’re on Oratane or if you just struggle with dry lips.
That brings me to the end of my first ever written review. I’m unsure if I’m supposed to wrap things up like an essay that you’ve written in school, but long story short if you didn’t bother actually reading it, just take the order of paragraphs in ranks. Ranked worst to best, you can thank me later.