11 AUG - 2023
The timing was perfect for everyone - except me.
Something I never thought I’d have to deal with was my two best friends both meeting someone and proceeding to get into relationships at the same time. To set the scene, my two closest gal pals began talking (romantically talking, might I add…) to these random people and then boom, within weeks of each other, they'd been locked down. No longer intrinsically obliged to hangout with 'the single friend' that I have now become, they'd rather snuggle with their lover in bed all day - and I don’t blame them!
As a single trio, we spent every spare moment we had together. We’d have sleepovers, giggling until we were in tears. Watch movies, go to the beach, out to dinner, take walks together. We'd be out into the early hours of the morning partying, and I cherished every second, as did they. We were unstoppable. Now, I'm bitter, lost, and a bit envious too. Why couldn't it be me?
Naturally, they have less time for me. If they were completely abandoning me, it might be a question of loyalty, but they both had busy schedules when their partners weren’t in the picture. Plus, I can imagine having to shift your priorities to allow the time for a romantic partner would be hard for my fiercely independent best friends anyway.
They will remember girl code eventually, sisters before misters, right?
So where do I fit? As my main support pillars, this distance hurts and it makes me feel like I’m losing them. Don’t get me wrong, I'm excited for both of them. As my best friends, I think they’re the most amazing people in the world, and they deserve to be deliriously happy, as well as experience the love they deserve (I'm even confident that with these partners, they will). But I just can’t shake the loneliness. Am I self-absorbed for making this about me? Should I just keep quiet and wait until they’ve got it figured out? They will remember girl code eventually, sisters before misters, right?
At the end of the day, I am valid for being a bit hurt. However, at the same time, my best friends are also valid for soaking up all of the lovely, crushy, lusty, new beginnings they’re feeling as well. The fluttery feelings and utter blindness to anything and everything at the beginning of a new love is the best part. I don’t want to take that away from them and I certainly don’t want them to feel guilty for being happy, even if I do fear they will forget me.
The reality is, they’re probably not going to forget me or abandon me. It might just take a little while for them to find the balance between their romantic and platonic relationships. For now, the only answer for me is to invest more of my time into my other friendships, and maybe find a new hobby? We are all growing up into women in our mid twenties and wanting a partner, wanting to experience love, and all the other good stuff that comes with being in a relationship (stability, security, support) is normal.