23 DEC - 2016
I knew it would be hard, but man - it was a whole new unexpected level of energy-rinsing despondency.
Even if I were at my dream job, as in that job I've always known to be my true calling right there in my gut, which I now wholeheartedly understand that it was 100% not in the architecture industry, I'm still unsure on whether I would have enjoyed and appreciated the journey to building my career or if I would've been just another new-age brat/Gen X simpleton who's counting down the minutes until it's home time.
It's only after a couple of years down the track since I've been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But for the most time, it's been mostly an emotionally harrowing experience, day after day, not knowing if I'm doing the right thing for me and my future. What was it all for? Spending my youth in an office working for someone I don't gel with alongside people I despise...
But there's always going to be people that you don't get along with at your workplace and it's always going to be hard to work for someone else. The catch is, it's even harder to work for yourself and it takes a shit tonne of courage to do so.
The very first week of your very first job or your new job after transitioning into a different environment is unbelievably hard. Many of you will already know this. For the grads, my suggestion is to keep your support system close by and a 12-pack of brews in the fridge. You'll need it. But as you get used to the repetitive routine of a normal 5-day-work-week cycle, your energy levels will feel less depleted and the colour will return to your face. But for some, it might get even harder because of unforeseen circumstances; most of them stemming from conflict and friction between people. But that's a story for another time.
Excerpt from September 2nd, 2015:
Mixed Feelings About Humpday
I’ve interned here for two weeks and am now ploughing through my first week of full time work as a legit employee. It’s humpday but I’m not particularly happy.
When I was a mere two-day-old-intern, I was given the cover story for the upcoming issue and I completed it on that day… in 6 hours. What a f**king feat. I’m not a professional writer. I just have a penchant for rage-writing. Also, those deadline workdays were 10.5 hours a day.
I think it was a Tuesday or a Wednesday when I came home, made salmon for dinner and lay on the couch with salmon juice all over my hands for an hour because I literally was too tired to get up, walk 3 metres to the kitchen and wash fish oil from my hands. Does it put into perspective how this internship rinsed me of my energy? FISH OIL ON HANDS FOR AN HOUR. Just elevated awkwardly so I didn’t get it on me or my surroundings. God. How tragic.
Second week of being an intern, I was breaking records and was pretty much the employee of the mother******* month at the rate I was going.
*Just so you know, it got over 2.9 million FB shares.
On Monday, I cried while I was walking home in the rain like a pathetic girl heartbroken from a breakup. But no – I was angry for being undervalued. My salary starts with a 3 and let me tell you it’s not a 6 digit figure. Working 9.5 hours a day for this minuscule salary that doesn’t even allow me to buy a pair of shoes, I was really, for lack of a better word, sad. Really. F**king. Sad. Also, I had acquired an anti-fan that was raiding through the page and emailing my boss and shit. He really needs to get a job and stop emailing us at 2pm in the afternoon.
I’ve also been drinking heavily for the past…. I don’t know for how many days. Perhaps it’s an indication that I am really struggling with this job/year/life.
Happy f**king Humpday.