Envious Fun Employment Lifestyle

BY SOPHIE CHUNG

Looking back to when I was working only three days a week, I had forgotten how much time I had on my hands to do absolutely nothing.

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21 DEC - 2016

I can 100% understand why it's called "funemployment". Everything is available for purchase - except for time - the most valuable commodity there is.

If there was a way that I could swipe my already-negative-card for some, I bloody well would. Life as I know it consists of me screaming inward "go-go-go!" or "F******K!" as there's just not enough time in the day to have a deadline-driven dual role job and do my own shit - but to completely adhere to the truth, my internal thoughts are expelled outward in a manner best described as wailing. The way in which I "deal" with my problems hasn't changed much since I was 6 years old. I maintain the same tantrum-like instinctual reaction I did then to hunger or lack of attention - and have somehow transferred this practice to all issues that are graded above a 5.5/10.

How do people squeeze in their me-time everyday? Is it even a priority to some?

A typical modern-day salary-earning individual's life would go something like this:

Wake up -> Shit, shower, shave -> Go to work -> Work -> Think about what to have for dinner -> Buy groceries -> Cook dinner -> Eat dinner -> Eat dessert -> Wash the dishes - and by the time you've finished doing all of that, it's 9pm and you're pooped and you have to get ready for bed.

But to narrow it down to finer details, in between that relatively simplistically-put ritual, you have to try squeeze in breakfast, lunch, snacks and exercise - and I do none of those except for eating lunch - a task that can also escape me when I'm running around from A to B to A to C and maybe even to a D destination.

The following forms the description of a typical day as a hospo-working-grad trying to find a job. Although the 'woe is me' attitude makes my then-life seem rather depressing (and don't get me wrong, it really was), the state of being bored mindless from owning so much of my own time seems absolutely ideal. The part where I can wake up at noon on a weekday is especially enviable. Cheers to funemployment.


Excerpt from August 12, 2015:

Productivity at its Best

The activities of today so far:

8am – Woke up. Soon to realise the crashing reality that I didn’t have a job or an internship so I went back to sleep.

12:30pm – woke up and rolled out of bed. Cooked some above average ramen whilst feeling guilty that I should be on a diet since Tuesday. I had carrot and cabbage with garlic hummus for dinner last night so I definitely deserved a pack of instant 500 calorie noodles. I also finished the new 2015 Netflix adaptation of Wet Hot American Summer; classic cringeworthy American humour. At times funny, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for “pudding”, Amy Poehler.

3pm – Made a round of calls to a magazine company, a creative agency and a shit tonne of architecture firms. Got two interviews for the former companies and of course, no one is hiring grads in the architecture industry. Why the fuck did I study 5 years for this bullshit again?

3:48pm – cracked open a soul-soothing ale made of lightly kilned malt with ginger and a touch of honey.

To do list: – have a shower and brush my teeth.

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"Life as I know it consists of me screaming inward "go-go-go!" or "F******K!""

Excerpt from August 12, 2015:

Productivity at its Best
The activities of today so far:

8am – Woke up. Soon to realise the crashing reality that I didn’t have a job or an internship so I went back to sleep.

12:30pm – woke up and rolled out of bed. Cooked some above average ramen whilst feeling guilty that I should be on a diet since Tuesday. I had carrot and cabbage with garlic hummus for dinner last night so I definitely deserved a pack of instant 500 calorie noodles. I also finished the new 2015 Netflix adaptation of Wet Hot American Summer; classic cringeworthy American humour. At times funny, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for “pudding”, Amy Poehler.

3pm – Made a round of calls to a magazine company, a creative agency and a shit tonne of architecture firms. Got two interviews for the former companies and of course, no one is hiring grads in the architecture industry. Why the fuck did I study 5 years for this bullshit again?

3:48pm – cracked open a soul-soothing ale made of lightly kilned malt with ginger and a touch of honey.
To do list: – have a shower and brush my teeth.

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